As i prepare myself mentally and physically on a fading Sunday evening for another week, i have already brought the garbage out for the 6am morning pickup. I have a stack of papers still glaring at me, waiting for a brightly colored sharpie to annotate and design recommendations from last week’s attempts at homework. (We dare not use red anymore…it is much too angry and negative a color – so i have markers in a pumpkin orange, a deep pink and a lime green instead). I take one last moment before settling in to vicariously correct and out falls a card from my agenda book. The card is a prayer…which i have always felt speaks so well, so perfectly for me, reflecting my innermost thoughts and insecurities. It is by Thomas Merton in his writing – Thoughts in Solitude-. Thank you in advance for allowing me to share this with you.
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.