am i alone?

As i prepare myself mentally and physically on a fading Sunday evening for another week, i have already brought the garbage out for the 6am morning pickup.  I have a stack of papers still glaring at me, waiting for a brightly colored sharpie to annotate and design recommendations from last week’s attempts at homework. (We dare not use red anymore…it is much too angry and negative a color – so i have markers in a pumpkin orange, a deep pink and a lime green instead).   I take one last moment before settling in to vicariously correct and out falls a card from my agenda book.  The card is a prayer…which i have always felt speaks so well, so perfectly for me, reflecting my innermost thoughts and insecurities.  It is by Thomas Merton in his writing – Thoughts in Solitude-.  Thank you in advance for allowing me to share this with you.

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.  I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

 

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